Holdingsun Jeffmcneill

The Other Side of Surrender is Rebirth

I’ve spent many hours in the past week having emergency phone sessions with clients dealing with surrender. It seems like surrender is everywhere, bursting our bubbles with a surprise demand to let go or pointing us toward a slower shedding of something precious. Carol Hess over at The Star Polisher has written powerfully about some signs surrender may be knocking at your door as well as embracing the choice to let go.

When it comes to surrender, I spend most of my time teaching people how to let go. Letting go can feel like a huge loss because it often involves health, work, relationships and finances. It’s often more challenging to let go of the hopes, expectations and beliefs surrounding a relationship than the relationship itself. Giving up that guy you thought was the one at age 40 may also feel like losing your last chance at becoming a mother. Work not materializing can make you question your life’s purpose.

The letting go part of surrender can hurt at first. It can feel like a shredding, a death. To let go we need to grieve. Letting go can include emptying closets, moving homes and ending relationships as well as crying, dancing and releasing everything we thought we knew. Letting go can also mean relinquishing limiting beliefs. As long as we don’t hurt others or ourselves, there isn’t a wrong path for letting go. It just takes practice to find your way.

But here’s what I’m feeling called to shout from my rooftop this week:

If you can just show up with every fiber of your being and be patient with letting go, you will get to the other side of surrender. And as you become whole enough to get out of the way, letting go transforms into allowing something new into your life.

You arrive at rebirth.

I’ve seen rebirth happen so often. The 40 year old woman who never thought she’d be a mom meets someone fabulous and becomes pregnant. A job offer appears from a dream city. Rebirth may not come as an obvious outcome but an aha moment. You could feel a new peacefulness inside. Or recognize how strong you are. These healing experiences restore our faith and make us believe in magic. We realize we’re not alone.

Since surrender seems like it’s going to remain with us for awhile, I’m tired of being tired (aren’t you?). I’m ready to start having some fun. It begins with transforming the fear of letting go into practicing fierce love (hello intention).

We can also start making friends with the unknown by not grasping at the next big idea before it fully arrives. My teacher Jyoti has said, “If you chase the mystery, it will hide itself from you.” Following energy, especially our own unfolding potential, means learning how to stay behind it.

Then we free ourselves to practice surrender through igniting creativity and exploring possibility. Because as a conscious ending, embracing surrender facilitates a beautiful purpose. Our own evolution.

  1. Staci Boden
    Staci Boden10-10-2012

    Carol, why recreate the wheel when your writing, your perspective, your teaching, said it all. And yes, surrender is a practice of learning to follow without forcing anything, a beautiful challenge for us all. I constantly remind myself not to get stuck in the belief that I’ve arrived somewhere. Recognize, celebrate and even bask in beautiful moments of completion? Absolutely! But remember life as a “never-ending spiral of personal and spiritual growth.” Ah yes, thanks for that one too.

  2. Carol Hess (@TheStarPolisher)
    Carol Hess (@TheStarPolisher)10-09-2012

    I would have loved this post even if you hadn’t mentioned me, Staci! The fact that you did makes it that much better. 🙂 Thank you.

    Seriously, I loved your reminder that letting go isn’t just about loss. It’s also about gaining something. But most of all, what I needed to remember was that to truly surrender, I need to stay behind the letting go energy and not get out there in front of it — which is EXACTLY what I’ve been doing the last couple of days. And then I wondered why the natural flow that comes with surrender seemed to dry right up. Sigh.

    Surrender is a process — one we will never perfect, but perhaps can learn to embrace joyfully and even welcome as part of our never-ending spiral of personal and spiritual growth.

Leave a Reply